Reason why people stay together
Right now I am in the middle of teaching a unit on probability to my 5th grade math class. I have been having a lot of fun searching the internet for interesting statistics for them to marvel at. Last week I asked them, "Do you think that you have a higher probability of dying in a car accident or a plane crash?" Of course all of them chose a plane crash but in fact, the probability of dying in a car crash is much greater, 1 in 100 vs. 1 in 5,000 for a plane crash. In my search for statistics I dusted off one of my psychology text books from college and opened up to the where I had stuffed a bunch of my old papers in the section on "social relations."
In it I found the chapter on divorce. As most people know, our nation's divorce rate has been hovering around 50% for at least the past ten years now. In and of itself this is a sad statistic. What I found even more alarming was that according to statistics from 1996, the United States has the 12th highest divorce rate! Believe it or not, there are 11 countries with rates higher than ours! Belarus, Russia, and Sweden ring in as the top three with rates at 68%, 65% and 64% respectively. The countries with the lowest divorce rates are Bolivia, Spain, and the Philippines with only .01% of their populations' marriages ending in divorce.
This got me thinking, "What are the reasons people stay together?" I turned the page and there it was, a list of reasons why people stay together in a marriage.
Here it is:
"Risk of divorce also depends on who marries whom (Fergusson & others, 1984; Myers, 2000, Tzeng, 1992). People usually stay married if they:
- Married after age 20
- Both grew up in stable two-parent homes.
- Dated for a long while before marriage.
- Are well and similarly educated.
- Enjoy a stable income from a good job.
- Live in a small town or a farm.
- Did NOT cohabit or become pregnant before marriage.
- Are religiously committed.
- Are of similar age, faith, and education." (Myers, 2002, pg. 464)
These might seem obvious to some people, but I found it interesting that these qualities have been scientifically proven to lead to long-lasting stable marriages. I'll probably have more to say about this later since I am in the middle of reading On Marriage and Family Life by St. John Chrysostom. Until then, what do you guys think? I am interested to hear how true you think these statements are...
posted by Meika @ 7:32 PM
2 Comments:
Meika,
First of all, let me say that you are off to a great start with blogging! I still can't believe what your mom said!
Second, "On Marriage and Family Life" is a fantastic little book. St. John has some amazing things to say.
Third (and just for fun), here is how Carrie and I stack up regarding the 9 factors you listed (we have 6 of 9):
1. Yes (I was 25 and Carrie was 23)
2. No (Carrie did but my parents divorced when I was 3. However, both of my parents remarried and produced stable families with their new spouses...so maybe that counts for half a point?)
3. No (engaged for 8 months, but only knew each other for 1 year before marriage)
4. Yes
5. Yes (much more so before Kirsten came along!)
6. No (That would nice, in some ways)
7. Yes (as in, no pregnancies or cohabitation!)
8. Yes (duh!)
9. Yes
The only thing that struck me was the "dated for a long time before marriage." That doesn't seem like a bad idea, except that, because of human weakness, this sometimes lead to violation of the "did not cohabitate or become pregnant before marriage."
So, while I think that it's good to really get to know your future mate before you get married, I think that it's better to get married quickly if it will prevent a fall into sin.
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